Brownies and Bloodshed (Peridale Cafe Cozy Mystery Book 19) Read online

  Jessie snorted. “Awkward.”

  “This is my wife,” Brian said, red-faced, “Katie.”

  “Oh.” Thomas’s eyes darted around the group. “Easy mistake.”

  “We’re a weird family,” Jessie whispered into his ear. “You’ll get used to it.”

  “Pleasure to meet you,” Katie said, offering a small curtsey. “So, you’re Percy’s nephew?”

  “The only one,” Thomas replied. “There’s my sister too, but she’s running late, as usual. Our dad, Ian, is one of Percy’s brothers, but they don’t get on. Haven’t spoken in years, last I heard.”

  “One of?” Julia asked.

  “There’s three of them. My dad, Ian, is the eldest, Percy is in the middle, and Eugene is the youngest. Eugene’s inside with his husband, Marley, but Dot and Percy haven’t shown up yet, and they’re struggling to hold our table. I only stepped out to make a call to see where – ah! – there she is.”

  A woman about Thomas’s age hurried up the street as a bus drove away at the bottom. She tripped over a paving stone, catching herself with a lamppost before continuing, only to trip again three steps later. She had thin, brown hair with yellowy blonde streaks, and everything she wore was a shade of beige, as though she had come in fancy dress as a camel. She also appeared unaware of the length of toilet roll stuck to her shoe.

  “Sorry I’m late!” She panted for breath. “Bus got stuck behind a tractor.”

  “When are you ever on time?” Thomas asked, glancing down at the toilet roll. “Everyone, this is my sister, Helen. Helen, this is Dot’s son and his wife, and Dot’s granddaughter, her husband, and their son and daughter.”

  “Ah, I’m not their son,” Alfie cut in with a laugh. “They’re nowhere near old enough. I’m just Jessie’s brother.”

  “And I’m technically adopted,” Jessie added, wide eyes fixed on the toilet roll. “Although she is pregnant. I suppose you could say the little thing in there counts, so your assumption isn’t entirely wrong.”

  Alfie and Barker laughed, but Helen’s face didn’t crack. Jessie’s on-the-nose brand of sarcastic humour was one of Julia’s favourite things about her, but it was often lost on most people. Helen’s obvious nerves didn’t help.

  Sue turned the corner at the top of the street, a plastic bag in her hand. Julia let out a sigh of relief, glad the burden to lighten the conversation had been lifted.

  “This is my sister, Sue,” Julia explained to Thomas and Helen, the latter partially hiding behind the former’s shoulder. “As you can see from her outfit, she’s a nurse.”

  “I didn’t have time to get changed!” Sue cried, out of breath when she came into hearing range. “Are they here yet?”

  “No,” they replied in unison.

  “I still have time.”

  Sue smiled politely at Thomas and Helen on her way into the restaurant, but she didn’t pause to introduce herself. Julia wasn’t surprised. Sue had never been very receptive to considerable changes in the family. She resisted Katie for years before finally letting her in, and she hadn’t yet attempted to get to know Percy. She had even been a little suspicious of Barker and Jessie when they first showed up.

  “Shall we wait in the bar?” Thomas suggested when the silence stretched out again. “I could murder a pint.”

  They all mumbled agreeably and followed him into the pub. Jessie stomped on the toilet roll, ripping it from Helen’s shoe, causing Helen to spin around.

  “Spider,” Jessie lied.

  The wall of sound swept Julia away the second she stepped inside. Mary and Todd Porter had worked hard over the decades, dedicating themselves to creating the best experience for anyone entering their restaurant. Newcomers often likened it to walking into an old friend’s home, which Julia had always thought was an apt description, but tonight, it felt more suffocating than comfy.

  “Drink?” Barker asked as they walked towards the bar to the left of the restaurant.

  “Glass of…”

  Julia paused and thought hard; ‘wine’ sat on the tip of her tongue.

  “Orange juice?” Barker prompted.

  Julia nodded. She had quit drinking months before falling pregnant. Never a big drinker, she had only ever indulged in the odd glass of white wine every so often. Alcohol wasn’t something she had missed, but tonight, a little wine would have taken the edge off. She almost wanted to laugh at the thought that the thing making her feel this way was also the thing stopping her from consuming a little liquid courage.

  “Hell-o!” a voice booming with Shakespearean drama called from behind them. “You must be the Souths!”

  Julia turned to see a tall, broad, bearded man in a burgundy crushed velvet suit and a white cravat. His thick, luscious hair was swept back off his face, and his moustache had been twirled up at the ends. His buttonhole even sported a yellow carnation.

  “Eugene Cropper!” he announced theatrically as he pulled a shorter, shyer-looking man forward. “This is my husband, Marley. I’m Percy’s younger brother. The baby of the family, as it were. And who might all you be?” He paused, his finger tapping his chin. “Actually, no! Don’t tell me! I talk to my brother on the phone frequently enough to figure this out!”

  Eugene tugged at the breast of his jacket, rolled his neck, and cracked his fingers. He snapped to attention and pointed directly at Jessie.

  “You must be the young, spirited Jessie I’ve heard all about,” he said, immediately moving onto Julia. “And you must be her mother, Julia, the café owner.” His finger swept to Barker. “Which means you’re the writer husband, Barker Brown. I read your book by the way. Fabulous! When’s the sequel coming out?”

  Thomas cleared his throat and threw Eugene a quick head shake.

  “How did you know I wasn’t Julia?” Katie asked, pouting slightly. “I could run a café!”

  “My dear.” Eugene walked over and took Katie’s hands in his. “You could only be Katie, and from everything I already know about you, you’re my favourite, which leaves Brian, Dot’s son, Julia’s father, and Katie’s husband. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

  “I apologise for my husband’s familiarity,” Marley said, nodding to each of them as a way of greeting. “He’s what you’d call a people person.”

  “It’s why I made such an excellent politician!” Eugene returned to his place beside Marley. “How I ended up with this introvert, I’ll never know.”

  “Could you imagine two of you together, Uncle Eugene?” Thomas asked, sipping his pint. “It’s probably for the best you don’t have someone to upstage you.”

  Eugene appeared to be in his mid-to-late seventies, and Marley at least a decade younger. Whereas Eugene dressed like a Victorian circus ringleader, Marley looked more like a monk with his shaved bald head, baggy linen tunic with matching trousers, and wooden beaded bracelets. He had a deep, olive-toned complexion and apple-green eyes. Like Dot and Percy, Eugene and Marley couldn’t have been less visually alike, and yet Julia instantly understood why they worked so well together; she loved both of them immediately.

  “Are they still not here?” Sue asked as she hurried into the pack, outfit completely changed, and her nurse’s uniform now in the plastic bag. “I’m gasping for a drink.”

  “You must be Susan!” Eugene clapped his hands together, making Sue jump. “The final piece of the puzzle.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Leave the poor woman alone,” Marley said, tapping his husband on the arm with the back of his hand. “You don’t always have to hold court.”

  “But I do it so well,” Eugene replied with a small bow.

  “Everyone calls me Sue.” She attempted to catch the barmaid’s eye. “Where’s Gran?”

  “No idea.” Julia checked her watch. “It’s not like her to be the last one to turn up somewhere, especially if she’s going to be the centre of attention.”

  “I called Percy’s house phone, but he didn’t pick up,” Thomas said after another drink from his pint glass.
“Anyone tried Dorothy’s phone?”

  As though summoned by her name alone, Dot burst through the front door followed closely by Percy. She immediately made a b-line for them, one hand fiddling with her brooch, the other fluffing up her short grey curls.

  “Good!” Dot cried. “You’ve all met.”

  “Sorry we’re late,” Percy apologised, panting as he attempted to match Dot’s brisk pace. “We got caught up doing something.”

  Jessie winced. “Do we want to know?”

  “Oh, the youth of today!” Dot announced dramatically. “Only have one thing on your mind! We had an errand to do, actually, and we had to be sure you were all out of your houses. We’ve dropped off your outfits for tomorrow.”

  “How?” Jessie asked.

  “I have spare keys to all your houses,” Dot said with a pat to the handbag hanging from her shoulder. “But that’s not the point. I want the theme to be a surprise right until the very last moment! I’d give them to you tomorrow if I didn’t have one hundred and one other things to do.”

  Julia and Sue shared the same worried look as they sipped their drinks. They had all been to fittings to have measurements taken, but what they were being fitted for remained a mystery.

  Mary Porter, the owner, walked over, already apologising for something with her smile.

  “Does this mean you’re all here?” Mary called, counting the heads.

  “Yes, this is it,” Dot said, looking around. “You can seat us in the snug now.”

  “Sorry, Dot, snug’s already been taken,” Mary said as she reached behind the bar for a stack of menus. “You’ll have to take a table in the main restaurant.”

  “But I specifically requested the snug.”

  “You’re twenty minutes late for your booking time, and it’s the busiest night of the week.” Mary hurried past them. “The table I have for you is just as lovely, and I can assure you’ll get the same service and food regardless of where you sit. If you follow me, I’ll take you to your table.”

  Dot straightened her spine, and for a moment, Julia feared she was about to make a scene. Thankfully, she jutted her chin into the air and followed Mary into the dark depths of the busy dining room.

  Centuries ago, the Comfy Corner had been a pub, and the old games room, now referred to as the snug, was where Mary usually seated big parties. As they took their seats at the largest table in the middle of the packed dining room, the Comfy Corner felt more like a pub than ever.

  Julia scanned the faces as she sandwiched herself into her seat, making sure to have Sue on one side and Barker on the other for comfort. She nodded and smiled at the faces she recognised – which was most of them.

  Only the Croppers were strangers to her. She didn’t think it was an accident that the families each stuck to one side of the table, with Percy at one end, and Dot at the other. Eugene and Marley took up the middle section, with Thomas and Helen on either side. Helen looked like she would rather be anywhere else, and even though Julia could relate to that feeling, she pushed forward a smile for the happy couple’s sake, a courtesy Helen had yet to share.

  “I recommend the Peridale pie,” Mary said as she passed around the menus, giving the same recommendation she always did. “It looks like you already have drinks, except for Dot and Percy, so I’ll give you a couple of minutes to look over the menu. How about a bottle of champagne for the happy couple?”

  “Would be rude not to,” Percy replied, rubbing his hands together. “Make it two, and we’ll all have some.”

  While everyone scanned the restaurant’s extensive menu, Julia peered over the top and assessed Percy’s family. Thomas, Eugene, and Marley seemed like friendly people she could get along with, and even though Helen looked to be in a bad mood, Julia hadn’t heard enough from her yet to make a judgement. If someone had judged Julia based on her mood over the past week, they might have assumed she was a miserable woman too.

  But aside from that, the absent Cropper intrigued her the most. Now that she knew Percy had two brothers, she wondered what could have happened between Percy and his older brother for him not to be invited to meet his fiancé’s family. As much as she wanted to, however, she wouldn’t start that conversation. If Eugene kept up his one-man show, she would happily sit back and let him dominate the conversation all night.

  “So!” Eugene exclaimed, clapping his hands together with a flourish after they gave Mary their orders. “Are you two excited? Tomorrow’s the big day!”

  “Oh, yes,” Percy replied as he tucked a paper napkin over the top of his bowtie. “We’re very excited, aren’t we, Dorothy?”

  “Hmmm?” Dot pursed her lips as one of the many waiters zooming around the cramped and dark space clipped the back of her head with their elbow. “Oh, yes. Very excited, indeed. As long as everything goes off without a hitch, the months of stress will be worth it.”

  Dot had been uncharacteristically quiet about the wedding planning. Julia and Sue had expected to be involved in every planning stage, whether or not they liked it. Apart from a few meetings at the year’s beginning, Dot had been secretly planning the whole thing behind their backs. The date announcement was the first any of them heard the wedding was actually happening.

  “Tell us about your café, Julia,” Eugene prompted, leaning into the candlelight in the middle of the table. “I hear it’s quite popular.”

  “Well, it’s the only café in town,” Julia replied with a chuckle. “So, you could say we’re popular.”

  “She’s too modest,” Jessie mumbled through a mouthful of breadstick, the only one digging into the breadbasket. “She’ll never say it out loud, but she knows everyone thinks she’s the best baker in Peridale.”

  “Oh, a baker!” Eugene gasped. “That’s marvellous! Tell me, do you have any vegan options on the menu?”

  Julia thought about it for a moment, but she wasn’t sure any of her cakes were vegan. She could make vegan sandwiches, but they were rarely requested in the small village.

  “I don’t think I do,” she admitted.

  “You must create something with Marley for your menu while we’re in the village for the wedding!” Eugene clapped his hand on Marley’s shoulder. “We’re here for the whole week. Thought we’d treat ourselves to a little Cotswold holiday since we were coming anyway. It’s nice to get away, especially since Marley won’t let us go on the cruise of a lifetime I’ve been looking forward to for years.”

  “Don’t start, dear.”

  “It’s true!” Eugene lifted his hands. “Marley runs a little vegan café where we live, and if you ask him, that’s more important than enjoying a round-the-world cruise.”

  “We’re packed out most days,” Marley explained after sipping what appeared to be water. “It’s like missing a child when I leave it.”

  “Which is why we will never go on that cruise!” Eugene roared. “It’s about time you two had some time apart. I am slightly older than you, dear. I could drop dead at any moment, and then how would you feel?”

  “Relieved.”

  Jessie laughed loudly at Marley’s joke, causing a few heads to turn to their table.

  “I understand that feeling,” Julia offered, the conversation an easy one for her to contribute to. “I try to leave mine as little as possible.”

  “Then it’s a date!” Eugene said, clapping his hands once again. “You’ll become little baking buddies and create something together.”

  Julia nodded and was about to say she would like that, but the urge to run to the bathroom swept over her.

  “If you’ll excuse me,” Julia said as she stood. “Nature calls.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Dot said, springing up instantly.

  Julia weaved her way through the busy dining room, Dot on her heels. She pushed on the bathroom door, glad to see it was empty. When the door swung back and the din of the dining room died down, Dot wrapped her arms around Julia and clung on for dear life.

  “Oh, Julia!” Dot cried. “What am I doing?”


  “Right now, you’re choking me a little.”

  “I mean with the wedding.”

  “I got that,” Julia said, pulling Dot’s arm away from her throat, “but you are choking me.”

  “Oh.” Dot loosened her grip and backed away, her posture relaxing. “What were we thinking, getting married at our age? It’s all so silly!”

  “Has something happened?”

  “Not a thing.” Dot forced a laugh. “Everything is perfect, which only makes me worry more! How can I meet someone at my age and have it be this good? Where’s the catch?”

  “Who said there has to be a catch?”

  “There’s always a catch, Julia!” Dot started to pace in front of the row of sinks. “Percy is perfect. He’s kind, he’s loving, and I’ll never admit to saying this to you, but he’s far too good for me!”

  “Gran…”

  “No, it’s true.” Dot shook her head, her pace quickening. “This only felt real today. I’m getting married in the morning.”

  “I know.”

  “No, you don’t.” Dot stopped, clutching Julia’s shoulders in her hands. “I, meaning me, I’m getting married to a man in the morning. A man. Married to a man. In the morning. Me. Marrying him. Tomorrow.”

  “Okay, okay.” Julia pushed her grandmother’s hands off her shoulders and put hers on Dot’s. “I get it. You’re malfunctioning. Is there any chance this could be night-before nerves?”

  “Maybe.” Dot’s nostrils flared, and she jolted at the sound of a cork popping in the restaurant. “I was as sick as a dog the night before I married my Albert, but that was in 1952! I was practically a child. Look at me, Julia. I’m eighty-bloody-five. Why am I putting myself through this?”

  “Do you love him?”

  Dot didn’t miss a beat. “Yes.”

  “That’s why.”

  “Oh.” Dot nodded, her eyes shrinking a little. “I suppose it is. Yes, you’re right. My mood has been up and down all day.”

  “You’re not pregnant by any chance?” Julia laughed, looking down at her tummy. “This one has had me feeling like a hormonal teenager all week, and according to Barker, doing something to my insides that’s making me need to pee constantly. Speaking of which, I came in here for a reason.”