Red Velvet and Revenge (Peridale Cafe Cozy Mystery Book 16) Read online

  “Where did you read that?”

  “A magazine.”

  “Well, tell that to your body.”

  “I’m fine.” Barker stretched out and cracked his neck. “Another cup of coffee and I’ll be as good as new. Besides, I don’t want to miss my wife judging alongside the Tony Bridges.”

  “Something tells me you’re more interested in seeing Tony Bridges.”

  “Nonsense.” Barker appeared behind Julia and wrapped his hands around her waist, nuzzling his nose against her neck. “There could be a hundred Tony Bridges in a room, and I’d still only see you.” His warm lips brushed against her skin, sending a tingle down her spine. “What time does the bake-off start, because I thought we could—”

  Before Barker could propose his idea, a loud and frantic knocking echoed down the hallway from the front door. Barker continued kissing Julia’s neck; as lovely as it felt, she couldn’t ignore the door.

  “That’s probably Jessie.” Julia pulled away when the knocking turned into banging. “How much do you want to bet she's forgotten her keys again? Okay, okay! I’m coming!”

  Julia opened the door to the icy wonderland, but Jessie wasn’t there to greet her. Instead, Julia’s father, Brian South, stood on her doorstep as snow swirled around him, baby Vinnie clutched against his chest. He had three stuffed bags slung over his shoulder, and what appeared to be a travel cot crammed under his arm.

  “Dad?” Julia ushered him inside when she noticed his wide-eyed panic. “Has something happened?”

  “It’s Katie.” His voice trembled. “She’s had an accident in Ibiza.”

  “An accident? When? Is she okay?”

  “About an hour ago.” He dropped the bags on the ground and leaned the cot against the hallway table. “Her friend was crying so much on the phone I could barely understand her. Something about a banana boat and a broken leg.”

  “Who’s broken their leg?” Barker appeared in the hallway. “Hi, Brian.”

  “Katie,” Julia answered, her hand drifting up to her mouth. “She only left for the airport yesterday.”

  “I should have listened to my gut!” Tears collected in the corners of her father’s eyes. “I knew it was a bad idea for her to go on holiday with all her old modelling friends. They start acting like kids the second they’re all together in a room. Add in the sun, and the all-you-can-drink bar and something like this was bound to happen.” He inhaled deeply as Julia rested her hand on his shoulder. “I can’t stay. I need to get to the airport. My flight leaves in two hours. I was lucky to find something in this weather.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” Julia asked. “Do you need me to drive you or—”

  “Vinnie.” He passed the baby over. “I can’t take him with me. I’m going to be stuck in a hospital in the middle of Ibiza. It’s no place for a baby. I’m sorry to ask, Julia, but I’m desperate.”

  “You want me to look after Vinnie?” Julia heard the panic in her voice as she struggled to hold up her surprisingly heavy fourteen-month-old baby brother. “For how long?”

  “Until Katie can fly home again.” Brian checked his watch before swooping in to kiss Vinnie on the cheek. “I really need to get on the road. The snow is going to slow me down. Everything he needs should be in his bags. You have my number if there’s an emergency. You’re a star.”

  Brian kissed Julia on the forehead, waved to Barker, and left as quickly as he had arrived, slamming the door behind him. With her wriggling brother in her arms, Julia turned to Barker, her confusion reflected in his blank expression.

  “Dada?” Vinnie reached for the front door, his feet pushing against Julia with startling strength. “Da-da?”

  “Dada’s gone on a little holiday,” Julia said, the wobble in her voice barely masked by her panicked smile, “but I’m sure he’ll be back soon. It looks like you’re going to be spending some time with your big sister. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

  Vinnie looked up at Julia and then down the hallway at Barker; tears and wailing followed immediately.

  2

  I knew I had one somewhere.” Julia produced a pink car seat from the cupboard at the end of the hall. “Sue left it here for when I look after the twins, but I haven’t needed to use it until now. Do you know how to fit one?”

  “Do I know?” Barker replied as he held Vinnie at arm’s length. “I thought you’d know.”

  “I’ve never done it before.” Julia put the car seat on the hallway floor and stared at it as though waiting for it to reveal its secrets. “This seems like a thing a man would know how to do. It’s sort of like flatpack furniture, right?”

  “And since when have I been good at flatpack?” Barker knocked on the wonky and wobbly bookcase he’d attempted to assemble to house his collection of first-edition crime novels. “Call your sister and ask. She’ll know how to do it.”

  “I’m not calling Sue to ask how to fit a car seat!” Julia cried. “It’s embarrassing. How hard can it be?”

  “Hard enough that we’re having this conversation.” Barker sighed. He handed Vinnie over to Julia and snatched up the bulky contraption. “It’s a good thing that I love you. Let me see if I can figure it out.”

  Knowing Barker would rather try to fit a car seat in the snow than be left alone with Vinnie, Julia breathed a sigh of relief, glad to have escaped venturing into the cold for now. She let Vinnie down onto the floor and steered him into the sitting room, his tiny legs wobbling as he walked.

  “Bah!” he called as he clung to the coffee table with both hands, his knees bending to punctuate his cries. “Bah!”

  “Bah?” Julia echoed. “What is Bah?”

  “Bah!” he cried, his face scrunching. “Bah!”

  Panic flared in Julia’s chest. She admired anyone who looked after children full-time, but at thirty-nine years old, it was something she’d never experienced. She’d babysat the twins for her sister, Sue, for a couple of hours here and there, but it was always a relief to hand them back when the time came. Staring into Vinnie’s tiny eyes while he grew increasingly wound up repeating “Bah! Bah! Bah!” on a loop, she felt the walls and ceiling closing in around her.

  How long would her father be in Ibiza with Katie?

  One day?

  Two days?

  A week?

  More?

  “Breathe, Julia,” she reminded herself. “He’s a baby. How hard can it be?”

  As though to show her, Vinnie swiped a half-full cup of lukewarm peppermint and liquorice tea onto the floor. It bypassed the hearthrug and bounced off the edge of the stone fireplace, shattering on contact. Tea and porcelain flew in all directions, triggering Vinnie’s cries. Julia swooped in and scooped him up. He thrashed and wriggled against her like a contortionist.

  “Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah!” he screamed as he fought her grip. “Bah!”

  Barker hurried back in, snow-covered and shivering in his pyjamas. Julia was pleased to see he was without the car seat.

  “Did you figure it out?” she asked as Vinnie grabbed fistfuls of her chocolatey curls.

  Barker gave his phone a celebratory pat. “With a little help from the internet. Are you okay? He looks like he’s trying to pull your hair out.”

  “I think he is.”

  “Bah!”

  “What is Bah?” she cried as she untangled her hair from Vinnie’s tiny fingers and strong grip. “Do you understand what he’s saying?”

  Barker tilted his head as Vinnie repeated his chant over and over, his plump face growing redder and redder with each syllable.

  “He sounds like a sheep.”

  “A sheep?” Julia gritted her jaw. “Serious answers only, please!”

  “No, he really does sound like a sheep.” Barker unzipped one of the bulging bags to reveal a vast collection of stuffed toys. He dug around until he found a tatty woolly sheep. He squeezed its stomach, and it let out a crackly ‘baaaaaahhh’ noise from a concealed speaker.

  “Bah?” Barker said as he waved the
toy in front of Vinnie’s face. “Is this what you want?”

  Vinnie’s eyes lit up as he snatched the toy from Barker, his whining and thrashing ceasing straightaway. Sensing that the beast had been tamed for the time being, Julia placed him on the sofa. As though his request had been a simple one, he played peacefully with the stuffed animal, squeezing its stomach repeatedly to let out its grainy call.

  “You don’t suppose my dad put an instruction manual in there, do you?” Julia stared longingly at the bags. “What have we got ourselves into?”

  As it turned out, Brian had left some instructions, although sparse ones. In his rush to gather Vinnie’s things, he had found time to scribble a rough schedule on the back of an empty envelope. The schedule began at 6:30am with ‘wake up and milk’, continuing through a variety of milk feeds, meals, and activities, leading up to ‘bedtime with a book’ at 6:30pm. Assuming Brian had given him his breakfast and first milk feed of the day, Julia picked up at ‘lunch at 11:45am … he’ll eat ANYTHING.’ Unsure of what ‘anything’ meant for a fourteen-month-old baby, she consulted the internet and discovered that a small bowl of soup with bread was a suitable meal.

  Without the assistance of a baby highchair, Julia helped Vinnie work his way through his lunch on the kitchen counter, not that he needed much assistance. He dunked his bread with gusto, splashing it and smearing it on his face with an infectious grin.

  With food in his belly, Vinnie seemed content to play with his plethora of farm-themed stuffed toys, each of them providing a different single syllable sound. A little after noon, he was ready for his ‘two-hour nap. NO MORE, or he’ll be a NIGHTMARE at bedtime.’ The travel cot was surprisingly easy to set up next to Julia and Barker’s bed, and Vinnie fell asleep the instant his head hit the pillow. Leaving Barker to nap on the bed alongside him, Julia sat in the corner of the bedroom and flicked through her mother’s handwritten recipe book as the snow fell outside like icing sugar dusting a Victoria sponge.

  Vinnie stirred at two, and Barker followed soon after. Julia gave Vinnie his third scheduled milk bottle of the day while Barker shaved and showered. With an hour to spare until the bake-off started, they packed Barker’s car with the cupcakes and Vinnie’s essentials and set off slowly down the winding lane.

  “Your car would have struggled down here,” Barker remarked for the second time, the fresh snow crunching under the tyres.

  “My car would have been absolutely fine,” Julia shot back, knowing she was more than a little defensive of her precious vintage, aqua blue Ford Anglia. “She’s lived through her fair share of winters.”

  The journey, which generally took less than five minutes, took almost fifteen thanks to Barker taking the twists and turns of the lane at a pace so slow it would have been quicker to walk. When they emerged in the heart of the village, it took Julia a moment to notice the large tent that had been erected on the village green thanks to its white shell blending in with the snowy backdrop. Barker pulled up in the alley next to Julia’s café, behind Jessie’s yellow Mini Cooper.

  “Well, she’s around somewhere,” Barker said as he turned off the engine. “Is she still not picking up her phone?”

  “No, but she’s sent me a text message.” Julia showed Barker the ‘BUSY!’ message on her phone. “I think that’s her way of saying she’s alive, so please leave her alone.”

  Julia unstrapped Vinnie from his car seat. She had wrapped him up in a tiny green scarf with matching gloves and a hat. With her help, Vinnie hobbled across the green, his little boots leaving deep indents in the fresh snow. Barker hurried behind with the cupcakes.

  “Ah, Julia!” Brendan, the competition organiser and head of the Cotswold Baking Society, greeted her with a beaming grin. “Aww, is this your little one? He looks just like you!”

  “He’s my brother,” Julia explained. “It’s a long story. This all looks great!”

  She looked around the giant tent. It was surprisingly toasty thanks to large electric heaters in each corner. A laminate floor had been laid, with two rows of pink gingham-covered tables in the middle, no doubt for the entrants’ cakes to sit and be judged by Julia and Tony. Seats lined the perimeter, and a tea and coffee station waited at the far end. Without needing to be told, Barker headed there with the cupcakes.

  Julia thought Brendan Jones was an unlikely head of a society, let alone a baking one. He was young, late-twenties at the latest, with boyish good looks and a style Jessie had described as being ‘geek chic’ when he had visited the café to offer Julia the role. He had a sweet smile with deep dimples and slickly styled, quaffed, dark blond hair, which added a couple of inches to his petite height.

  “I can’t thank you enough for doing this,” Brendan said as he consulted a clipboard. “I’ve heard a lot of great things about your café, and I have to say, it didn’t disappoint.”

  “I’m happy to do it! Is Tony here?”

  “Not yet,” Brendan said with a flat smile that left Julia feeling cold. “Have you met him?”

  Julia shook her head. “Have you?”

  “Unfortunately. I apologise in advance.”

  “For what?”

  “Anything he says.”

  Before Julia could ask Brendan to elaborate, he hurried off to stop a young worker unplugging one of the heaters. Barker finished unwrapping the cupcakes and re-joined her, keeping a safe distance from Vinnie, who was on the floor hitting his sheep against the laminate while letting out piercing squeals.

  “What kind of judge are you going to be?” Barker asked. “I can see you being exactly like Simon Cowell. Hitting buzzers and crushing dreams with a razor-sharp tongue.”

  “Hardly.” Julia chuckled. “I’ll be fair and kind. If I can offer advice, I will, but I won’t be mean. That’s not the point of today. We’re here for some light village fun.”

  The tent entrance peeled back, and the familiar face of Julia’s gran, Dot South, popped through. When she spotted Julia, she hurried in, followed closely by her short and plump fiancé, Percy Cropper.

  “Gran, Percy!” Julia cried, her eyes wide as she took in their outfits. “You look … new clothes?”

  “Do you like?” Dot spun on the spot.

  Dot and Percy were both dressed head-to-toe in so much brown fur Julia could barely tell where one article ended, and another began. She detected gloves, a hat, and a neck-to-toe coat, but it was hard to be sure.

  “You look like two bears,” Barker said.

  “Thank you, kind man,” Percy said, seemingly taking the observation as a compliment. “I got an amazing deal for the full set. Don’t we look dashing?”

  Despite it having been over a month since Percy had got down on one knee on Christmas Day to propose to Dot, it still took Julia by surprise to see her gran as part of a couple, especially since she had been single for as long as Julia could remember. Even though it was taking a while to get used to, Julia couldn’t have been happier for them. They were opposites in most ways, but they suited each other like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

  “You look warm.” Julia forced a smile. “Is it real fur?”

  “No, dear!” Percy chuckled as he adjusted his round red spectacles. “We’re not monsters! Fake fur, but you’d never know. Just as good as the real thing. Have a feel!”

  “I’m okay.” Julia shook her head as Percy offered his furry arm. “I believe you.”

  “Stroke the man!” Dot cried, nodding at the fur as she massaged her own furry arms. “It’s as soft as butter!”

  Julia glanced at Barker before sighing and running her fingers gently along Percy’s fur coat. She offered him a smile in lieu of knowing what the correct response should be.

  “Have a feel, Barker.” Percy jerked his arm away from Julia. “One hundred percent genuine imitation fur! It’s all the rage.”

  “Where?” Barker delicately stroked Percy’s arm. “On the streets of Russia?”

  “We’re entering a new ice age!” Dot announced, wagging her gloved finger. “It’s i
n all the papers! Don’t you kids read the news anymore? That’s what’s wrong with this generation. Didn’t I say that, Percy?”

  “You did, Dorothy.”

  “Illiteracy is still on the rise!” Dot cried. “I predicted this would happen!”

  “You predicted it in December,” Julia reminded her.

  “I was a little off with the dates.” Dot fluttered her eyelids. “Small details! You’re all too busy with your telephones and computer programs to notice what’s really going on, tipping and tapping away while the real world passes you by.”

  “And I suppose believing in a new ice age is the real world?” Barker muttered under his breath.

  “I heard that!” Dot snapped.

  “I meant you to.”

  “You’ll see who’s laughing when this snow is still here in July! You’ll be begging to know where we got our furs, and, by then, the price will have rocketed, and we’ll all be living like cavemen trading sticks and stones for scraps of meat! And do you know what I’ll say when that day comes, Barker?”

  “What?”

  “I told you so!”

  “Don’t get too worked up, Dorothy.” Percy looped his furry arm through hers. “Not at our age.”

  “Speak for yourself, dear.” Dot craned her neck and looked around the tent. “I don’t suppose Tony Bridges is here yet?”

  “Not yet,” Julia said. “Any particular reason?”

  “Oh, no!” Dot let out an airy giggle. “I just wanted to say hello and tell him that I love his radio show.”

  “You do?” Percy frowned as he looked up at Dot. “I didn’t know that about you, Dorothy.”

  “Well, I’m a complex woman, dear. There’s much to uncover. I actually won one of his radio contests once. Do you remember, Julia? You, Sue, and I went to that strange castle spa in Scotland because of him.”

  “I’ll have to make sure to thank him,” Julia said sardonically, remembering that the trip to Scotland had resulted in Julia solving yet another murder.

  “I see Vinnie is playing with Bah.” Percy nodded at the child. “Precious little thing. Are you babysitting?”